September 16, 2016

I Choose Me

I recently read this article someone posted on Facebook. I kind of laugh and thought, "Hmm, yeah I'm there." Then I forgot about it.

Until the other day. I saw some co-workers leaving for lunch together. I wasn't invited. No big deal, right? I was headed to the gym at lunch for exercise class. Because I have kids. That's when I have to get my exercise in.

So it made me think about this stage of my life. I LOVE that my kids are older and we can really all enjoy each other (minus the in the car fighting and endless rounds of 'that's not fair') and do fun things together without too many major meltdowns (not counting the grocery store, which I can't do with 2 kids, it stresses me out toooo much. Call me crazy but I just can't. Judge me all you want that we hadn't been to the grocery store in like 2-3 weeks until I went last night.)

Since my kids are older, that means they are into more stuff. My best friend text me the other night to tell me that a certain band was going to be in town if we all wanted to go have dinner, then listen to the band. On a Thursday night.  Um, I wish. We have gymnastics that night. And a spelling test the next day (not the we really study for those, it's MULTIPLE choice now, seriously, how hard is that??). While I would love to go, I declined.  But response was "My kids' social lives have taken over mine."

And nothing could be more true. And I'm ok with it, usually. This is just the stage of life I'm in. I know it's temporary. Pretty soon, they will be driving themselves places and only needing me for money (yes Mom, I know how it works!).

But that makes me sometimes feel like a bad friend. I feel like I have to squeeze every minute of free time I have into doing something for myself. I am not sure what I'm going to do once the TV shows start back next week (HELLO BLACKLIST, where is Lizzie????). I never watch them in real time. Who, with kids, has time for that? That's during bath time and bedtime. Ha. 

I go to exercise class twice a week on my lunch break. I do that for me. I am so glad there is finally a lunchtime class! I don't want to exercise at 5:30 or 6. My kids have been caged up in school for hours and then in after school care for a few more. I don't want them to go sit in the 'nursery' at the gym for another hour. Plus, we only have one night a week that we are free to do that. So we don't. We go home and jump or ride bikes or watch Property Brothers.  I get up super early 2-3 days during the week to run before it's 90000 degrees (even though it's still about 85000 that early). I don't say this to make myself sound better than anyone else. I say it because that's what I choose. For myself. I could choose to be fat for the rest of my life. But sometimes, I choose me.  I also have a great running friend group that encourages and understands. They are almost all Mamas.  Some work weird or long hours, some have husbands that hunt and some have husbands that work awful hours (READ: ME). But we make it work. Somehow, it always works.

So the fact that in this stage of my life, I choose me and my kids, if that makes me a horrible friend, I'm sorry. Kind of. There will be years from now that we can hang out. And I'm ok with that.  I still keep up via social media (which I need to cut more out of too) so I at least know what's going on in their corner of the world. 

Sometimes, we just like being homebodies. That's hard with our full schedules but we take advantage when we can. And that's ok too. ha.

This stage of life is a weird one. But a fun one. And a hard one. They are all hard ones. Just different.

So this is my life and my random thoughts for the day. Annah Mary, your posts have inspired me to do some writing!