April 23, 2013

A Struggle

Y'all know I'm all about keeping it real?  Well, today I'm struggling.  I'm trying to learn how to deal with a few situations with grace.  Yes, mine are minor compared to what others are going through.  I wasn't in Boston and didn't know anyone (thankfully) who was harmed.  Or that worked or lived by the plant in West, TX.

I know my struggles are minor.  But, they are my own.  I confront them on a daily, almost hourly basis.  It's part of life.

Man, it helps to write about them.

Big Sister and I did a quick promo piece for my Sunday School class. We are currently studying Raising Boys and Girls.  I am really enjoying this study and learning a ton. (You are welcome to join if you want, 9:45 on Sundays!)

In the promo, I made a statement that parenting is exhausting.  There has never been a more true statement. 

At least not today.

This parenting stuff never gets easier.  The more parents I talk to, the more I feel hopeless sometimes.  

I know it will all get better but in this very moment, it's frustrating.  And disheartening.  And I wish I could say I was soooo over it.  That would be a lie.

I feel like I should just lower my expectations. I feel like I already have realistic expectations so I don't want to lower them any.  That's not the answer.

That would be an easy way out though!

I think the root of my problem is getting over what others think.  I've always been pretty self-conscience and I think it's continued on into my parenting.

I have to be ok with the fact that my kid is not perfect.  I expect her to act a certain way, do certain things.  Be respectful.  Be kind.  You know, things any parents wants of their children.

When things sometimes go south, I tend to worry more about what other parents or teachers will think of me when my child acts a certain way or does something in particular.  

I'm sick with worry sometimes that I think I lose sight of what we are working on.  I lose sight of the fact that she is 6.  I lose sight of the fact that this is just a phase (hopefully).

And, though I feel we may never get out of this phase, I know we will.  Eventually.  Then we'll be on to something else.

This Mama just has to learn how to deal with these things.

It's not easy.  I know I'm a work in progress too.

Life is way too precious to be filled with worry.  Especially worry of what others will think of you.  How can I teach my kids not to worry about that when I'm ridden with it?

This verse keeps coming to my mind.  I've read it many times this month while doing my daily devotionals.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 4:6-7

Man, that's powerful.  And way easier said than done.

I'm working on it.

Thanks for letting me lay it all (or most of it) out there.

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